


No Surrender

by starklyman



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:18:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9851309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starklyman/pseuds/starklyman
Summary: He wants to hate him... and yet





	

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own The West Wing or any of the characters unfortunately.

More than anything else, Toby just wants to hate him.

He's got plenty of anger, that's for sure, but he finds that he still doesn't hate him.

He doesn't hate him because even now, to this day, he wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. He wakes up from dreams- nightmares really- where his hands are slick with blood, struggling to find purchase on his ruined shirt, his broken skin. Trying desperately to stop the life from pouring out of this man, his brother. He tries and tries to stop remembering the moment where his eyes landed on him, struggling to stay open, and he whispered his name, just before shutting them, before paramedics shouldered him out of the way and started barking commands at one another.

He can't hate him because he wakes up from these nightmares and stumbles to the bathroom, washing his hands of the imaginary blood he can still feel. He can't help the relief that floods through him when he remembers that it's over, that he's ok. He can't help the comfort that he feels when someone mentions his name when talking about the Santos campaign or when he sees a flash of him on TV.

He can't hate him because at one point he willed the man alive with his bare hands and his desperate orders to stay alive. He can't hate him because when they were in the ambulance he was sure that he was going to die and for those moments Toby couldn't imagine his life without him.

He can't hate him the same way he finds it impossible to hate David.

**Author's Note:**

> Because I know we're all still pissed off at Toby's storyline in s6/7. And I know that Toby could never hate Josh no matter how hard he tried.


End file.
